Look I don’t have much to say so I’ll just touch on a few things. My one year anniversary for this piece of shit blog is on March 14th so maybe I’ll do a best of for the one year anniversary. But, don’t hold your breath. This blog has lost it’s steam and may be on life support. Or it may just have the flu, I’ll keep you updated.
Mel, Mel, Mel. We are all aware by now that Mel Gibson’s mouth is indeed a lethal weapon. I’m not going to go into the details, we’ve all read the stories, seen or heard the tapes and know he’s been a huge asshole lately.
They only thing he hasn’t done is put on a t-shirt that says I support BP Oil in the Gulf. Even his agency fired him after the latest round of foul mouth sound offs. Never fear Mel, Rich from Atomic Gator is here and although I don’t know why, I’m here to help you. Yes me, the guy that invented cool and the guy that brought you awesome. I have a few ideas to help Mel improve his image and get back in the good graces of the forgiving public.
I like connecting with old Friends. That’s it, done with that list, now on to the real list:
Reasons I HATE Facebook:
A hundred or so steps to change my privacy settings, WTF?
Farmville <——- (What is this crap?)
With all the limitless possibilities on the internet and with infinite amounts of resources on the internet you a-holes want to farm on Facebook? Are you that bored?
Johnny needs your help with finding a pit boss. NO Asshole, Johnny needs to get off Facebook and go find a job. That’s what Johnny needs to do.
Friend requests from people I hated in High School
(memo to you people, I still hate you)
Friend request from people I don’t even know
Seriously? What do you want, I don’t even know you.
Family pictures from friends I hardly know
Who cares about your dumb ass cookout? Not me.
Stupid Ass ads on the right side of the page
I DON’T NEED to read about 4 Foods to never eat. Or buy slippers.
People who tag me in a picture with a beer in my hand from 1990
(thanks a lot FRIEND)
Updates like this winner:
Peggy: Super cool fossil I found at Kaiena Point. Nature is truly amazing.
No it’s not, you’re just boring. And why are you on my friend list??
Page suggestions like this:
Mike Holfeld – Local 6
Cause suggestions like this:
|Becky sent an invitation using Causes:Support my cause, Second Chance for Homeless Pets. Help by joining, donating, or inviting your friends!|
Ummm NO Becky. Do you have any other cool suggestions? They’re dogs and cats, just let them figure it out on their own. How about help homeless people first? No, dogs you want to help, alright then NO.
What, I said that already? Well that’s how much I hate hearing about it.
Sending Fake Plants?:
Not for a birthday mind you, just ’cause.
Sending Fake Hugs?:
A new hug from @Hugs has been delivered. Send this and many other hugs to your friends at @Hugs
Sending a Lady Gardener?:
– NEW – Lady Gardener is now available to send!
Sending flowers is a fun way to brighten your friends day!
Lady Gardener: Send Now
Really? WTF? Do you people have anything better to do then send a Lady Gardener? Question, is she Mexican at least?
People who type in ALL CAPS every post, every day:
GIRL…YOU ARE LIKE ME.ALWAYS UP AT THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.I THINK BECAUSE I HURT SO MUCH DURING THE DAY FOR SOME REASON I USUALLY FEEL BETTER AT NIGHT.THANKS FOR THE MESSAGE.I LOVE YOU BABY CUZ.TELL YOUR MOMMA THAT EVERY TIME THIS WEEK “THE LADY IN WHITE” WAS ON TV.WE WATCHED IT TOGETHER A HUNDRED YEARS AGO WHEN I HAD ENOUGH CASH TO COME VISIT HER.WE DID PIER 1 TOGETHER OF COURSE.WE ARE A LOT ALIKE.THANKS BABY CUZ.
Really? Seriously with this crap? If I can get past the all caps, which I can’t, what the hell is this babble? Everyone in the world can see this, and this is your contribution to society?
I am going to lose some “friends” on Facebook with this blog post, but I have to tell you it is totally worth it!
I’m a big Twitter fan these days: I read the other day that facebook is the friend you went to school with, Twitter is the friend you wish you went to school with. Sums it up for me.
Thanks for reading my little monsters: Atomic Gator wins!
Twitter is hot and blowing up right now. Nothing is done anymore without someone tweeting about it. Well, what if famous people in history had a chance to tweet? Wonder no more, I have a nice collection of famous tweets from some famous people in history. If my math is correct and although it usually isn’t, the tweets are all 140 characters or less, you know for accuracy. Please enjoy and as always, no smoking. Click on the twitter home page below to enlarge the picture. If you like this please retweet and share with all your friends.
Perhaps you have some famous people you want to see tweets from? Living, dead, I don’t give a shit. Put the suggestions in the comments below. Don’t let me down losers, I want some suggestions and I want some damn good ones. Remember if you don’t pass this along to your friends and leave me some suggestions the terrorists have won. Do you really want that on your hands?
Hope you enjoyed Atomic Gator: your new Dancing with the Stars Champion and about to be the Next American Idol as well!