Volume #2 August 6, 2011
Piece of shit Casey Anthony was spotted this week shopping in Ohio. Judging by her “disguise” she needs help. Glasses and a hat are not cloaking devices, they are just glasses and a hat. Unlike her baby killing, her disguising skills needs lots of help.
Lollapalooza invades Chicago this weekend. It’s the twentieth anniversary for Lolla. Congrats, next year you can legally drink. As if I needed another reason to avoid downtown Chicago. 90,000 smelly, drunk people should keep me away. Seriously, who want’s to do anything in the hot sun with 90,000 other people? Not this guy. No word yet weather or not Amy Winehouse will preform? What? Too soon?
Tiger Woods is back in action this weekend after a long lay off. Maybe I should clarify ‘back in action.’ Golfing is what I mean. I’m sure he’s been laying down with hookers uninterupted since his sports injury but now he’s back doing both. Golf and Girls.
Yes it should be less crowded on the highways this weekend, so drive it up bitches. (As long as you’re not driving into Chicago)
In other news:
My 8th wedding anniversary is next Tuesday August 9th. So, those who said it would last more than 3 years, up your ass bitches, now what? Quick story and I swear to God this is true. My wife was trying to get some ideas on what to get me and she came home and said one of her co-workers said, “get him an iPad.” I love this guy, seriously, I love him. I told her to tell him thank you from me. She comes home the next day and says he had another idea, after she told him her budget was about $30. He said, “get him some socks, they’re cool, happy and have lots of colors.” She claims he wasn’t joking. He was dead serious. Now, I should note he is how do you say, enjoys the company of other men. So, I understand socks but seriously in the history of the WORLD from Neanderthal man till yesterday I bet nobody has ever, I mean NEVER suggested buying someone an iPad as a gift then also suggesting “SOCKS” as an alternative.
Have a good weekend dumb asses. Again, I need to work on my news sign-off.