Me surfing, circa 1985. Neptune Beach, Fl.
First off I’ve been gone a week or so at the beach, trying to relax and recoup. It’s hard work being unstoppable and I needed to recharge my batteries. While I was gone at the beach those assholes in Hollywood tried to sneak one by me. They re-released Avatar at the movie theaters? Two things really bother the shit out of me about this. Number one: things must be pretty bleak right now at the box office if you’re re-releasing a movie that is already out on DVD (Expendables I’m looking at you). Number two: Fuck James Cameron.
Avatar was re-released this week in theaters, are you kidding me? That is retarded.
Doesn’t James Cameron have enough money? He has a fleet of submarines. Not a submarine, a fleet of submarines. Excuse me if I don’t want to run out of my house and buy Avatar on Blu-Ray then go down to the local theater and watch it on the big screen again. Seriously with this shit? It was a nice movie, it made like a jillion dollars but look it’s not time for the 8-month anniversary, okay Cameron clowns? How many submarines does this asshole need anyway?
That large ship should run him over. Seriously, look at the mustache.
Wee, we squirted you with water… well, we also squirted you with water. Yawn, I’m bored let’s go kill a whale.
Next up: Animal Planet’s Whale Wars
Great concept, boats go out and ‘distract’ whaling fleets during the whale season. Reality is, they just shoot water at each other for an hour. Sounds cool I know, but after 10 minutes of this massive water gun fight, it gets boring. What’s boring about a water gun fight? Well, this isn’t like the show Wipeout where people get destroyed by water, it’s more like ships shooting water at each other but rarely and I mean rarely hitting each other. And when they do hit each other with their big phallic water gun, big fucking deal, they’re on a ship, floating on the WATER. They tried to spice it up some when they hit the whaling ship with paint balls, again sounds cool but after a few minutes, yawn. I like the concept but really an entire series revolving around bad squirt gun fights is pretty lame. What’s next, a confetti bomb? Somebody going to shoot the ship with a t-shirt gun or bee bee gun next? Gay, next.
Watched the Cove the other night, oddly enough on Animal Planet. What the hell is up with me and this channel lately? Anyway, It was a very powerful movie, a must see and although it’s supposed to make me like dolphins more, the message I came away with is ~ I don’t like Japan. Seriously, the way they slaughter dolphins and whales is unforgivable. Don’t get me wrong, I like a nice plate of sushi like the next guy but I don’t need whale and dolphins in my diet. Stick to plasma TV’s and math, okay Asians?
Why can’t we just summon Godzilla and have him stomp on Japan for a while and remind them who’s boss? I have a theory that little people, like the Asians (not that I’m making generalizations) have an inferiority complex and they deal with it by killing sea mammals. I don’t have a problem with all the Japanese people, just the majority of them. Especially that God damn Hello Kitty.
What does a million dollar head of hair look like?
To me this head of hair looks like about $5 dollars, but what the hell do I know. It also looks like it costs Polamalu a million dollars a year just to wash and condition that pile of shit on his head. Apparently Head & Shoulders took out a million dollar policy through Loyd’s of London to insure his head of hair. Whatever, your money you morons. Nice in this economy with so many suffering that Head & Shoulders can take out a million dollar policy on a multi-millionhair. I remember the first time I saw Troy Polamalu from behind, I said to myself, wow who’s that chick with the long hair, she’s hot.
Hope you enjoyed the blog, I’m 100% back from vacation. Well, physically 100% back, mentally about 20% back.