Seriously, FU you pile of shit mythical horse with a fuck stick protruding out of your dumb-ass head. I’m tired of you being the ambassador for everything awesome for little girls everywhere. You’re a fraud and I’m here to expose you, you miserable white donkey. Why the hostility towards unicorns and rainbows? Because they both suck and they’ve both gotten a free pass long enough. It’s time we put a stop to this gay madness. I’m semi okay with the rainbows because they really exists but only for a brief time and sorry to burst your god damn bubble, there are no leprechauns or pots of gold at the end of them. Nope, just rain, some flash flood warnings and a lot of fucking mud. And maybe self proclaimed weather God: Jim Cantore, depending on the size of the storm. He only goes for the big shit, like his ego. SIDENOTE: I’m about to get started on those stupid ass leprechauns too but I’ll hold back. You’re safe for now you green ass midgets but rest assured your day will come here on Atomic Gator and you won’t like it one bit you dumb-ass little lucky charm dwarfs.
Fu Cupcakes, FU lollipops, FU bright colors, FU stars, FU hearts and a big FU to the unicorn and rainbows. And while we’re at it, FU green clovers.
Whew, it’s hard work mother fucking all these things. Never fear however, I’m up to the task.
Nice multicolored mane and nice leg warmers you hoofed whore. The only thing you’re good for is being LookitsBray screen saver. It’s hard to find something I hate more than rainbows and unicorns but we’ll try, for the sake of mankind.
The only good unicorn? Is a dead, be-headed crying unicorn. Win
Ralph Wiggum Unicorn
This is the only cool unicorn picture I’ve ever see:
It’s a Bear with a Machine Gun, riding a Great White Shark who is riding a Unicorn, while they all surf. Don’t miss the howling coyote silhouette in the background, it competes the awesomeness.
Only good Unicorn tattoo I’ve ever seen, goodnight babies.
Whose your favorite unicorn now, stabbed and trampled babies? Cool ink, but at the end of the day you’re still a dude with a dumb-ass rainbow and unicorn tattoo. Fail.
Nice back tattoo, I guess two unicorns humping on your back isn’t enough, make sure one is smoking.
I take solace in knowing you are stuck with this tattoo the rest of your miserable life. That truly makes me happy. You ass hat.
I’m not so sure this is a tattoo. I think this is just fungus taking the form of a stupid unicorn.
By the way, who is this beast, some sort of stupid Bigfoot?
Give me Sly Stallone as Rambo, with a crossbow, riding a gay ass unicorn, plowing through a fiery meadow.
Check, check, check and check!
Best for last? I have to admit this is the best rolling skating unicorn I’ve ever seen.
Now, do you believe me that all unicorns suck? I rest my case. This guy really is a horse dick. Best part of this picture, he’s not dressed up for any occasion, this is just his roller skating attire. Trust me when I tell you, yes he’s also a fucking rainbow, know what I’m saying? I’m thinking you do.
Thanks for reading Atomic Gator. Crushing dreams, one rainbow and one unicorn at a time. Watch your back leprechauns, your ass could be next recipient of the Atomic Gator super-punch.