This review will not only be a full review it will also be produced 100%, 90% about 50% on the iPad. Which I can tell you right now, will be a pain in the ass without a ‘real’ keyboard.
iPad keypad = keybad
Let’s start with the virtual keypad, it’s just like the iPhone’s which is nice but very cumbersome if you’re typing a lot, like a full god damn blog review. You can turn the iPad virtual keypad to landscape mode but there is no way around it, typing is a huge pain in the ass. However, this will be true on any tablet with technology like this. I’m not trying to bash Apple here, just stating the obvious, and it’s quite obvious to me that typing on the virtual keypad sucks. There is an easy fix for this, if you do plan to use the iPad to type a lot, you can get a dock and a real keyboard. The other easy fix is just dictating to your good for nothing assistant and let them figure the shit out.
Looks = Awesome
As far as the look and feel, the iPad is as bad-ass as advertised. This thing is razor thin, beautifully designed and it probably could get you laid just from using it once in public. Seriously, this mother fucker is awesome, it’s just a work of art. Images pop off the screen and it’s lightning fast, at least when I used it on my wifi. The retina display is incredible since the screen is an LED back-lit display. What does that mean? Simply, pictures, games and movies explode off the screen. Even your email looks like a classy, dressed up whore. How does the screen look outside? Outstanding. See how I used the word ‘out’ twice there? J-school. Even in the sunlight, the screen is incredible. At one point, I saw the sun get pissed off because it had a minimal effect on the display and it threatened to send a solar flare to my back yard. I later appeased the sun by letting it melt a ton of ice cubes, sounds stupid I know but the sun is petty like that. Petty and vindictive.
Specifics: loaded with cool things, and you better be loaded to get one. Either with money or alcohol or both.
The iPad screen is almost 10 inches (that’s what she said), it weighs a pound and a half (that’s what she says) and it is only half an inch thick (yes, that’s what she said) This device is thin as a rail, it’s thinner than my iPhone. If my iPhone is a thin, runway model then the iPad is her hot, anorexic, bulimic, pre-teen sister. How’s that for an analogy? This all adds up to a super duper sexy machine, it’s got lots of mojo and it better, because it’s base price starts at 500 clams. (dollars actually, I was just using the kids lingo.) Warning: 500 actual clams won’t get you an iPad, just probably oil and mercury poisoning.
I don’t have any major problem with the iPad, it’s a wonderful piece of technology. The biggest issue I have with the iPad is with that price ($499-$829) it is a lot for a device that I essentially already have with the combination of my iPhone 3G and my plasma TVs at home. Like how I dropped that? Not just a plasma TV at home but multiple plasma TVs, yeah that’s how I roll. Back to the review. Sure the iPad, is a nice combination of the two, in a kick-ass package but does it play movies better than my 60 inch plasma TV at home? Answer, no. Is it nicer playing Angry Birds and other apps on the iPad than on my little tiny iPhone screen? Hell yes, but it’s not $500-$800 dollars nicer. The iPad is a great luxury item, but unlike my phone, which I essentially need to survive, I can survive without an iPad. If I was a thousandaire I wouldn’t mind shelling out $800 duckets for an iPad but for now I’ll live with my home computer, iPhone and TVs.
Also keep this in mind. Remember the very first iPhone, looks like a piece of shit compared to the iPhone 4 doesn’t it? Stay away from the first generation iPad, the ones that will follow will be even better for less money. Win, win.
How am I reviewing this without buying one? My wife has one through work, it’s cool and free but I can’t watch porn on it. So, what’s the use?