You asked for it so here is the BEST of JULY from Atomic Gator.
Wait, what, you didn’t ask for it? In fact you specifically asked not to get this? Well, tough shit, you’re getting it anyway. Take it away helper monkeys. They’re in charge of editing and posting my stories, you should try them, helper monkey’s rule. They are supposed to be for handicap people or retards but I find them useful as well. Who else will throw their own shit on the wall? I mean besides my children. By the way, my helper monkey’s are helpful but they are useless about 90% of they time.
They sleep till noon, pop xanax, eat bananas all day long and drink wine out of a box while watching Planet of the Apes on DVD over and over again (the one with Charlton Heston not Mark Wahlberg). I swear one of them even cracked a smile when he learned of the chimpanzee that tore a lady’s face off a while ago. Sorry, I think I’m getting side tracked here. This is supposed to be the best of the blog from the past month and instead I’m going on and on about retards, monkeys and throwing shit on the wall. Remember when Homer Simpson had a helper monkey? Good times, they got drunk together. My helper monkeys suck, they refuse to get drunk with me. Stupid monkeys. Dammit, side tracked again, blame the A.D.D. OR as my dad describes it, “he doesn’t have attention deficit disorder, he’s just an asshole.” Thanks dad.
Remember this laugh a minute story? 4th of July: World’s Greatest Holiday.
Next up, the Gayest Race in France: Unless an American wins, then it’s the best race EVER! Tour de Fail:
This just in, Breaking NEWS. Best Fictional Newscasters
Now lets go back in time to revisit a story about my time machine! <——- Kick ass lead-in.
Lastly, check out this awesome post about me being awesome answering my almost awesome emails. Ca-Chang.
There you have it folks another great month on the blog. No? Well another good month. No? Well a decent month on the blog. No? Shit burger, oh well, just another month of Atomic Gator. Keep reading or I’ll be forced to quit doing this crap and you’ll have to spend your time on the internet looking at porn. Guess that’s not such a good ultimatum on my part.