I don’t mean where is Steve Austin, I mean where is this technology? I thought we were on the brink of this technology back in the 70’s? Are you telling me some 30-40 years later and still no bionic man or bionic woman? Remember Steve Austin, the 6 million dollar man? I want some bionic dudes running around crushing cars and shit, yet I get nothing. I don’t even have robot fighters, except in IronMan2. And where are the sharks with frickin lasers on their head? I want bionic people and I want them now. I know there are some people with bionic parts in their body but one leg or one arm is nothing, I want a bionic entourage of kick ass people, this is 2010 for Christ sakes.
I have a Theory that all the best minds are now making worthless phone apps like Super Monkey Ball 2
Back in the day the best minds were scientists building rockets or home computers but now the techies are building phone apps that can find me the perfect pizza in my neighborhood. Don’t get me wrong, I like iPhone apps and games but maybe we need to spend more time with higher technology. We can make phone apps that do everything in the world including making fart sounds but still no bionic people? At least make a few for the Olympics so we can win EVERY event, is that asking too much? In the 1960’s the best minds had a goal of conquering the moon and they followed through with it. Now we’re busy building the perfect iPhone app that simulates flying to the moon, oh joy. I love that stuff but maybe we should be aiming the bar a little higher for this generations greatest minds.
We have Facebook, the iPhone, Blackberry and Twitter so can we please get back to making space lasers and underwater cities? While were on the subject of technology where are the moon colonies and underwater cities that I was promised so many years ago?
The 80’s was just a big damn talker, sure they gave us the Walkman, pet rock, sea monkeys and punk rock but what else? The 80’s talked about multiple moon colonies, underwater cities and futuristic weapons like the light saber. Now we realize the 80’s was just a lying bastard. The 80’s was that really cool uncle you had when you were 5, but when you grew up and got older you realized your uncle was an unemployed loser who still lived in his parents basement. It’s 2010 and we can’t even plug a hole in the ground spewing oil, so I guess we can forget about light sabers and moon colonies.
Remember Robocop? Part Man, Part Machine, all COP: The future of law enforcement
We were headed in the right direction then I guess after we perfected the iPhone and home computer we decided we needed to make a zillion x-box games and iPhone apps. Seriously how many Rock Band games do we really need? I like all the games and shit but I want Robot Cops, a cure for the common cold and will someone explain to me how we can send multiple land rovers to roam the surface of the planet Mars looking for frozen water but I can’t get decent cell phone reception in my house?
I guess everyone is too busy updating their Facebook status and spraying tag body spray all over the God damn place to give a shit anymore about anything futuristic. The future is now and if you like social networking sites, eHarmony and iPhones then you are in good shape. But if you want bionic people and robot cops you’re screwed.
Thanks for reading Atomic Gator. When I’m not writing comedy I’m making blueprints for sharks with lasers on their frickin heads. I’m keeping the dream alive for all of us.