Apple’s new 4G iPhone due out this summer had a unceremonious unveiling at a German beer garden bar in Redwood City.
Guy walks into a bar
- Apple engineer from research and development goes out after work to have a few beers on his birthday (he posted that on his facebook page :-))
- At some point the guy leaves, probably intoxicated and left his new Apple 4G HD prototype iPhone at the bar (disguised as a regular 3G iPhone)
- Someone finds the iPhone and tries to return it but can’t find out who it belongs to
- Apple almost immediately shuts off service to the iPhone prototype to disable it
- The Guy who found phone then contacts Apple customer service and they have no idea what he is talking about (Remember customer service is at bottom of food chain, they think call is bogus) “Hey, I have your guy’s new phone, found it at the bar.” Apple Customer Service: “um, okay, have another one”
- After a few weeks the guy sells the phone to GIZMODO for $5k who unveils it to the world on their website (Apple should pay him 500k for not going to Verizon)
- Apple learns of missing iPhone and contacts GIZMODO to return the iPhone (letter below)
From the Apple Legal department: Can we have our iPhone back, please?
Phone was let out of Apple’s headquarters without being password locked, at a bar no less. Evidently they test their prototype products out in public a lot but I’m certain Apple was not planning on this next big release to be at a German Beer Garden. Memo to Apple: If one of your developers has the “new” phone checked out and it’s his birthday and he’s going to a bar maybe he should leave the prototype phone at the office. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me. Apple likes to control their promoting and this was certainly a gaffe that got out of their control. What about the engineer who lost the prototype iPhone? Good question, to this there is no certain answer. However, to say Apple likes to keep their secrets is an understatement. Some say they have a department whose sole mission is to keep things quiet and monitor those working on the products. The Apple Police!
Another great question, probably not the regular person. We all know Apple is coming out soon with the new updated iPhone – they do every year. It is a big deal in the industry and to techies that want to know what is new and hot right now. Rumors are always swirling about new Apple products so you can imagine if out of nowhere you got an actual sneak peek of something not due out for several months, pretty cool right? I can already hear those pompous iPad owners, “if he had a iPad he never would have left it at the bar, it’s too big to lose.” So true morons, now go back and play your 99cent app on your $800 app player.
What did we learn about the next Apple iPhone since we got a glimpse behind the curtain?
- Improved display screen (just a tad smaller but better resolution)
- Front facing camera (for chatting)
- Bigger camera lens on the back
- Flash for camera (cool and finally)
- Little bit thicker than old version
- Metal side boarder
- Bigger Battery (yes!)
Maybe this ‘test’ was Apple’s brilliant plan to sell their new iPhone’s at bars! I hope they sell the new updated iPhone this summer at my local bar because that will be a lot easier for me and it’s all about me. Sitting outside an Apple store is tremendously boring so I think the bar idea is brilliant on Apple’s part, I expect nothing less from them. I can get drunk, eat bar food, watch sports then pick up the new iPhone.
Waitress: What can I get you?
Me: I’ll have a Michelob Ultra, a sandwich and the new iPhone
Waitress: What size?
Me: regular size sandwich
Waitress: No, what size iPhone?
Me: Oh, give me the 16 GB. Wait, what the hell, bring me the 32 GB and no tomatoes.
Waitress: No tomatoes?
Me: Yeah, no tomatoes on the sandwich or the phone
Waitress: Anything else?
Me: That’s it. Wait no. See that group of good looking girls at the next table?
Waitress: Them (pointing)
Me: Yeah, those ladies. Bring them all large waters on me and tell them it’s from big daddy.
Waitress: You serious?
Me: Yours is not to question, your is to do. So go do. Your tip is in the balance.
Waitress: Whatever dude.
Re-enactment of me buying my next iPhone
Instead it will probably go down like this:
Apple Customer Service person: Hi welcome to the Apple store, you are #232 you can stand in that line that right there.
Me: (Thinking to myself: Wow this person must be very important. They have on a bright neon colored shirt AND a badge hanging around their neck. Oh, and some sort of earpiece)
Me: How long will this take?
Apple: Hard to say but shouldn’t be more than 8 hours.
Me: What if I need to pee or eat?
Apple: (Looking at me with big smile and eyes that say it’s not my problem.)
Don’t get me wrong, Apple is king and they have good service people. However, given the choice of ordering my next iPhone at a bar or at the Apple store, I choose BAR!
Hope you enjoyed Atomic Gator!