I’m not really funny. Smart-ass yes, funny not really. A cut up, a wiseass but by definition not really funny. It’s taken a long time for me to accept this but it’s really the truth. After years of trying to be funny and claiming to be funny I’ve finally realized if you think you’re funny and claim such then you really aren’t. You can never make that call on yourself. Oh sure you can but it is without merit. Being sarcastic and loud and outwardly vocal is a way of expression but it doesn’t make one funny. A lot of people don’t understand this rule.
Things I say to myself or think to myself sometimes amuse me and that’s all that really matters. Where is this coming from? I guess maturation, studying and observation of real comedians.
This will be my last post on AtomicGator. I haven’t really written much consistently in a long time so it’s not that big of deal. I wanted to write a silly blog when I first started and I did so enthusiastically but now I don’t have anything of real value I want to share on here anymore.
Thanks to everyone and anyone who ever took the time to read my blog, comment and maybe even cracked a smile. This blog was fun but lately it’s just not anymore. Life moves really fast these days and by the time something amusing happens and I get a chance to stop and collect my thoughts on the matter and draft a copy of it on my blog ~ well by then it’s not so funny anymore. So, what’s the use.
photo art: Zoobs
Little known facts about the Olympics
First Olympics were in 1939 in a basement in Cleveland
Back yard Mexican Wrestling was a medal sport from 1952-1967
Freestyle rapping was a non-medal sport in 1994
Over a million people live on earth and some of them watch TV during the Olympics
Donkey basketball was a huge Olympic sport however the team from Kazastan used to eat all the donkey shit off the floor which put off viewers
Olympic Curling was switched to the Summer Olympics but nobody watched that shit either so Summer sent it back to the Winter Olympics with a brief note that read: Fuck Off
Cigarette walking was a non-medal sport in 1981 and 1996
Michael Phelps nickname used to be stretch
Nobody has a clue what the sand volleyball is all about but men love watching those ladies in their bikini’s run around and frolic in the sand
I feel bad for this track “athlete” who barely missed out on his chance to go to the Olympics
Wow, you live long enough you’ll see it all. I pronounce myself ready to die once I saw the video of the dead flying cat helicopter. You heard me right. His owner had him stuffed like a taxidermist does with a deer, or duck or any other exotic animal. Then he strapped some blades on him and made him the world’s first remote control dead flying cat. Say that 3 times in a row. The owner has big plans for the cat on his birthday.
“He will receive more powerful engines and larger props for his birthday.”
I have a camera, I have a two kids age 4 and 6 so we have lots of toys everywhere. Periodically I’m going to show off my photo genius.
DIE FRY ! ! !
His fucking name wasn’t even Rex.
A Nebraska man named Tyler Gold petitioned the court this week to change his name to Tyrannosaurus Rex because “it’s cooler.”
Know what’s not cool? Changing your name to Tyrannosaurus Rex, shithead.
Here are some better suggestions for his name change.
Shit for Brainsosaurus
For those bored hours at work. Click below. You’re welcome.
A Hooter’s waitress won a beer sales contest and won a brand new TOYOTA. She was blindfolded, taken outside to the parking lot and presented with her prize.
Only it wasn’t a new Toyota it was actually a new TOY YODA that she won.
The contest was evidently an April Fools joke put on by Hooters but Jodee Berry of Panama City, FL was not in a laughing mood. She quit her job and sued the company alleging breach of contract and fraudulent misrepresentation. She settled for an undisclosed amount of money. David Noll, her attorney, said that he could not disclose the settlement’s details, although he said Berry can now go to a local car dealership and “pick out whatever type of Toyota she wants.”
May the 4th be with you!