You know who you are, with those “clever” family stick people stickers on the car with you and the whole dumb ass family. By the way is the husband in the above picture about to beat the shit out of his wife with a tennis racket? Also is the oldest girl about to attack that baby with a baseball bat? She looks like she’s about to club that poor baby like a god damn defenseless baby seal. I’m just saying, because that’s how I see things.
First off, is there really a need to show off your stick family resemblance on the back window of your SUV? Seriously, is this fucking necessary? I know what happened. One day at soccer practice or baseball practice one ass hole family pulled up with this crap on their back window and bam… All the other helpless sheep had to immediately go out and get their own likeness via a sticker of god dam stick people, to show everyone else that they also had a family.
By the way above “Mellow Madness” Family – not cool to let your under age boy sit on the front of the god damn boat while it’s going wide-ass-open pulling your other two stupid children water skiing. I guess the mello means you are lax on your household rules and if the dumb ass kids want to sit on the hood of the boat, while you’re hauling ass across the water, then that’s okay with you?
This one is called we have 2 retarded children
This one is called stealing baby in the middle of the night. Kidnappers like stickers too!
This one is called, shake your baby to sleep, as dad watches in approval.
This one is called, kill all the god damn kids and animals if they wake me up one more time before 6:00am.
This is the one I would put on my car.
Hunters, you are also being called out. Your love for killing animals and fowl is only matched by your love of NASCAR and putting stupid pictures on your windows.
Can you get any closer to those ducks before you blast their heads off?
Hey Mr. Bow hunter, are you close enough? Why don’t you just jump on the stupid deer and knife him to death and save an arrow?
First off WTF kind of animal is that? A magic rabbit/deer hybrid? Also, could you be any closer? Just reach your hand out and choke the dumb animal. Oh you stupid magic hunters.
My personal favorite (in memory stickers on cars)
Not cool, unless you ran over this child, with this vehicle. If not then save the memories in some other form that doesn’t involve car stickers or tattoos, okay? And really with the two hands? Not even worth a profile picture?
I thought Dale died driving in the final turn of the Daytona 500? Apparently he was shot to death in both eyes. I must say, even in death, impeccable mustache my good sir.
In loving memory of my dear old flying dog. “Just like a black winged dog.” How’s that song go? I’ll never forget you my sweet flying dog whom I named “your text.” RIP you really bad flying dog. He was a good dog, just couldn’t fly worth a shit, kept crash landing. I told him to stop but he just loved chasing birds. Poor, stupid, flying dead dog.
Finally some good offensive car stickers:
By the way, I believe the guy in the pictures above does brake for gay bars and is a retarded, unregistered sex offender who ass rapes sheep. Seriously I believe him. These offensive bumper stickers are funny but why does that guy remind me of the Shamwow guy?
Speaking of which: Shamwow guy collaborates with Eminem:
Shamwow guy = still a douche
Speaking of Eminem: I may be a 41-year old father of 2 but I can still recognize that Eminem can bring it! New single is cool. I’m too old to buy his stuff but not told old to enjoy it a little.
Thanks for reading Atomic Gator. I have kick-ass stickers if you want them, just send me a lot of money first.